God Hates Fred Phelps

by Robert Bronson Rollins III

In a startling change of pace, Fred Phelps and his cronies at the Westboro Baptist church have switched gears……. From crazy haters to completely, horribly, certifiably fucking insane. Like a traveling horror show carnival run by a rotting syphilitic corpse the ‘church’ is on its way town to Huntsville to protest the funeral of two teenage girls killed in a school bus accident, showing once again that the church and its members lack the genetic markers for caring, understanding, compassion or common sense. Let me say that again. Fred Phelps is going to protest the funeral of innocent girls killed in a freak accident and their families will suffer not only the loss of their most cherished but the indignity heaped on them by ignorant yokels It is hard to imagine that a group of people known for their almost comedic hard line beliefs could sink to a new low but Fred Phelps has found a way. Like the young molested boy who burns ants with a magnifying glass changes into a teen who pulls the wings off butterflies and burns puppies with a blowtorch, our buddy Fred’s passion is no longer inflamed by protesting the death of your average homosexual, his ardor no longer stiffens at the thought of dead soldiers and so like other deviants he is moving on to something so deprived it surprises even the most heartless of us. What’s next for Captain Insano and his bumbling band of escaped mental patients? Maybe he can picket the Labor Day Telethon or Saint Jude’s Hospital! I can see it now, Pastor Fred outside the local cancer ward, placards in hand, screaming into rooms that children have cancer because god hates fags, his skeletal hands trembling with a passion that normal people reserve for lovemaking.

I wonder if people find themselves looking forward to the next asinine protest like spectators at the death bed of reason.

I think we must ask ourselves some hard questions like is profiting off the suffering of innocents like this the same as causing the suffering? Are Fred Phelps and his clan no better then the child molesters and rapists locked up in prisons around the country because they feed off the pain they cause others in much the same way? Some would say that Pastor Fred and his ilk are the dark reflection of our own conflicted desires; others would say that there is something wrong with them, that they are subhuman and should be destroyed like rabid dogs. There comes a point in every individual’s life where a decision must be reached. Will you stick your head in the sand like an overgrown ostrich or will you do something to change a situation that you find appalling? Morality is an ever changing line that each person draws for themselves.

I have drawn that line in the sand. I will no longer stand idly by, happy to observe the ethical decay that is happening all around us. I’M CALLING YOU OUT. Every self righteous preacher with a skeleton in his closet, every pulpit pounding politician with a trail of indiscretions following them to the top, YOU ARE ON MY LIST. But, this isn’t a fight I can win by myself.

I need you. I need every one of you who are taking the time to read my words to step forward and help me in my fight against hypocrisy and dishonesty.

I want to know what you think America. The contest begins now. What can we do as individuals and as a group to bring this city, this state, this nation, THIS WORLD back into balance? The responsibility is ours.

The most original, inventive answers will get posted at www.apathyalliance.com and the winner will receive a prize of unmentionable beauty!!!!! We cannot count on anyone else to carry this Cross.

What can we do??? Please send your responses to Somebody@apathyalliance.com for entry